Discuss the cause of rising unemployment in some regions or countries and the potential effects of them on society. Propose strategies to address this issue.
It is argued that the increase of unemployment in some nations can be a potential danger for the public. In this essay, I will explore the influence of this matter in some regions and countries.
Firstly, nowadays, the percentage of unemployment in society has increased drastically, owing to the creation of developed AI technologies. For instance, about 20 years ago, all of the factories utilised crafts to produce their products. Nevertheless, now nearly all modernized factories use AI technologies to invent their items. Therefore, It increased the percentage of unemployment in nations and it causes poverty between the people who work as a junior person in companies. Let alone, it even makes people unhealthy while considering how to find a suitable job and how to leave this poor condition.
In order to solve these matters, governments should invest in education and training programs that equip individuals with the skills needed for emerging job opportunities. And governments also invest in businessmen to create new small factories which can make new vacancies for people who want to work. Because small factories can’t afford to purchase AI technologies to produce their products.If small factories can extend enough vacancies for unemployed, it can alter the condition of the society. As governments manage to invest in these areas, vividly the percentage of unemployment may dramatically decrease in nations.
To sum up, technologies leading poverty and mental health challenges between individuals. Organizations must invest in job creation to mitigate these effects and ensure a brighter future.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the proposed solutions.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to link all the ideas in a paragraph to the main point of the paragraph.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. The essay uses a variety of complex and simple sentence structures, but there are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that can be distracting. Punctuation and spelling are generally accurate, but there are a few minor errors that could be corrected for improved clarity.
The essay addresses the task and provides a relevant response. However, the response could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the causes of rising unemployment and potential effects on society, and by proposing strategies to address these issues. However, the response could be more fully developed, with more specific examples and a clearer connection between the proposed solutions and the overall problem. The conclusion is brief and could be more comprehensive in summarizing the main points and reiterating the proposed strategies.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single idea or argument.