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Many large supermarkets are being built today while the number of small shops is decreasing. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, while the construction of supermarkets has been building relentlessly, the reverse is true for little shops. Although there are some drawbacks, such as environmental concerns, advantages are more significant, including job opportunities and convenience.
One of the main downsides of increasing the number of supermarkets is that it may cause environment negatively . In other words, many large supermarkets often use a high amount of energy consumption, and compared to little ones, the energy using is lower. For instance,in Korzinka which is one the biggest supermarket in Uzbekisten, the use of daily electricity quantity may use one or three week in a small ones. Therefore this is not only disadvantageous for the environment, but it can also be a crisis for supermarket’ owners with a high amount of electricity usage.
However, these disadvantages notwithstanding, the development of supermarket construction may offer employment opportunities . In big markets, not only it have more places for unemployed people, but it may also provide good salaries. Thus, they employ a wide range of staff, such as cashiers, stockers , or security workers. Moreover, in many large supermarkets, there are many good facilities, including cutting-edge advancements or good arrangements. For example, in winter days, air-conditioning systems create a warm environment and it leads customers feel better; however, in smaller stores, they may not have.
In conclusion, While large supermarkets may negatively impact the environment by increasing energy consumption,the growth of supermarkets can also provide job opportunities and provide a better shopping experience for customers.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.

Suggestions
  • Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
  • Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and clearly state your opinion.

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to convey the arguments more effectively.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. The essay uses a variety of complex and simple sentence structures, but there are some grammatical errors and punctuation mistakes. These errors can sometimes make the writing difficult to understand or disrupt the flow of the essay. Proofreading to correct these errors is recommended. Additionally, the use of more varied sentence structures could help to convey the arguments more effectively.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of the increasing number of supermarkets. A clear position is maintained throughout the essay, and both sides of the argument are discussed in a balanced way. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the writer’s opinion. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments.

Suggestions
  • Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
  • Ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus and is well-developed.