More and more parents are allowing their children to play on computers and tablets as they think that children should learn technology skills. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Many parents let their children play computers or tablets because they believe that it is important for the development of their technology skills. This essay will explore the advantages that can easily outweigh the disadvantages if parents manage the children’s usage of tablets or computers.
On the positive side, playing computers and tablets entails a number of benefits, drawing in many players. The primary advantage of this children’s habit can be it leads to quick typing. Playing gadgets is generally useful because game players will memorize keyboard location, allowing a great number of players to work faster in many jobs or spheres with ease in the future, many jobs require technology skills. Along with this, children spend several minutes on games, giving parents downtime for self-care or giving time to complete other tasks.
I am, however, one of the advocates of not allowing children to play on phones, as I believe this mode yields better results and there are some negative effects of electronic devices. Firstly, in fact, they have detrimental effects on eye strain, poor posture, and headaches as children look at screens for a long time, and at the same time, it leads to obesity due to decreased activeness. Secondly, children easily get addicted to games such as PUBG Mobile, Brawl Stars, Grand Mobile, and Clash of Clans. Children can be addicted because these games are online, and children can earn money from some of them.
In conclusion, playing games, indeed, confers several benefits to the player, adding to their popularity. Regardless, I am more drawn to the practical downsides of the reverse of this mode, like better academic results and real-world interactions and activities.
The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic.
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with appropriate use of academic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and precision. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could enhance the overall quality of the essay.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence construction. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of grammatical structures, with a variety of sentence types used effectively. However, there are a few minor errors in grammar and punctuation that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of more complex grammatical structures, such as relative clauses and passive constructions, could enhance the overall quality of the essay.
The essay addresses the task effectively and provides a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of parents allowing their children to play on computers and tablets. The writer takes a clear position that the advantages of this practice outweigh the disadvantages and supports this position with relevant arguments and examples. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples and evidence to support the arguments made.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single point.