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The linw graph shows the prison population in European country between 1911 and 2001

The graph illustrates the trends in the prison populations of males and females in a European country between 1911 and 2001. Overall, the male prison population experienced significant growth, particularly after 1971, while the female population declined overall, despite some fluctuations.Throughout the period, the number of male prisoners was consistently much higher than that of females.
In 1911, there were approximately 19,000 male prisoners, compared to just 3,350 female prisoners. Over the following decades, the male prison population decreased steadily, reaching a low of around 10,000 in 1931. After that, it rose gradually, returning to its initial level of 19,000 by 1971. From this point onward, there was a dramatic increase, with the male prison population peaking at around 45,000 by 2001.
The trend for female prisoners was different. Their numbers fell sharply from 3,350 in 1911 to only 550 by 1941, marking the lowest point for female incarceration during the period. This was followed by a steady recovery, with the figure rising to 1,400 in 1961. In the subsequent decades, the female prison population fluctuated slightly but remained relatively stable, ending at about 1,000 in 2001, significantly lower than the starting point.
Overall, while the male prison population grew substantially over the century, the female prison population declined, with the most dramatic decrease occurring in the first half of the period.

8.0

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and overview are clear and the information is presented in a logical sequence. However, there are a few areas where the flow of information could be improved.

Suggestions
  • Use a wider range of cohesive devices to improve the flow of information.
  • Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.

The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are very few grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances where the choice of tense could be improved.

The essay provides a clear overview of the main trends, differences, and significant changes in the given period. The information is presented in a logical sequence and there is no irrelevant information.

Suggestions
  • Ensure that you fully explain all the significant trends and changes in the given period.