The chart gives information on the percentage of women going into higher education in five countries for the years 1980 and 2015.
The bar chart shows the percentage of females entering higher education in the years 1980 and 2015. The chart shows the percentages in five countries, the UK, the USA, Australia, South Korea and France. Overall, the proportion of women in higher education increased in the five countries.
In general, there were more female students in 2015 than in 1980, with more than half of women in higher education in all of the countries apart from South Korea. In four of the countries, the percentage of women going into higher education rose.
The most dramatic change was in South Korea, where the percentage doubled from 15% to 30%. The smallest change was seen in France, where the number increased only from 50% to 54%. The only country in which there was not an increase was Australia. Although the percentage of Australian women going into higher education remained the same at 58%, this was the highest in 1980 and equal highest with the USA in 2015.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The use of cohesive devices is effective, and the overall progression is smooth. However, there is a slight issue with the flow of information in the second paragraph.
Suggestions
- Consider using a wider range of linking words to show more variety in your language use.
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. The vocabulary is generally used appropriately, with a few minor errors.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are very few grammatical errors. Those that do exist are ‘slips’ and do not hinder communication.
The essay provides a clear overview and detailed support for the information provided. The task has been addressed fully, and the information is mostly accurately adapted from the chart.
Suggestions
- Make sure to double-check all of your data and make sure that it is accurately represented in your writing. There are a few minor errors in this regard in your writing.