Some high school students leave school without a good understanding of how to manage their money. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to improve their understanding?
Nowadays, graduating from high school without knowing financial management is a serious problem among high school graduates. This essay shows main problems and solutions of financial management.
There are many reasons for students not knowing how to manage their money. One cause of them is social media and advertisements encourage young people to spend money impulsively. This may lead to focusing on short time enjoyment rather than long term money management.Many schools prioritize math and science pulling financial management out of view. As a result students graduate without any accurate financial knowledge.
Fortunately there are solutions to deal with this problem. Schools can teach additional courses like budgeting saving and managing loans, including how to save and spend money, out of school hours.Not only this but also schools can use educational apps and tools designed to teach how to save money or spend money.For example, students can use apps like Uzum market or Temu to daily check of expenses and investing.
In conclusion, even though students graduate with a lack of money management, they still can have help of some executive
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and providing a clear final thought.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to provide a comprehensive summary of the points discussed.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to convey the ideas more effectively.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and there are few grammatical errors. However, there are some errors in article and preposition usage that can be distracting. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, and the majority of sentences are free from grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances of incorrect verb forms and sentence structures that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of more complex grammatical structures could help to convey the ideas more effectively.
The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout the response. However, the development of ideas could be more fully supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons some high school graduates lack a good understanding of financial management and suggesting potential solutions. The ideas are relevant and well-developed, with the introduction and conclusion effectively framing the response. However, the use of more specific examples could help to further illustrate the points made.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support your ideas.
- Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and is well-developed.