The charts below show the proportion of people’s total spending on different commodities and services in a particular European country in 1998 and 2008.
The chart compares two pictures of spending money on six different commodities and services: holiday, clothing, eating out, electronic goods, newspaper or maganzines and go to cinema in an unknown European country in 1998 and 2008.
From an overall perspective, it is readily apparent that people have spent their money more on commodities except for publications over the years while expenditures on others have undergone a decrease, with eating remaining stable.
Focusing on clothing and electronic goods, spending money on them increased from 12 and 16 to 18 and 20, respectively, in 2008 which meant that they maintained their dominance.
As for expenditures on holidays, cinemas and publications such as newspapers and magazines, they experienced decline. Outcomes for holiday was 8 in 1998 but than that went down to 5, while that for publications and go to cinema shortened to one in three whereas expenditure on eating out remained the same at 6.
The essay presents information in a logical order but lacks clear linking phrases and cohesive devices.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to connect ideas.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea.
- Improve transitions between sentences.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary but lacks precision and variety in some areas.
The essay contains grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that affect clarity.
The essay addresses the task but lacks detailed analysis and some data is inaccurately reported.
Suggestions
- Provide more detailed analysis of trends.
- Ensure all data is accurately reported.