Said

The world is becoming increasingly more and more similar because imports and exports from overseas are rising faster than ever before, more and more people have become able to afford goods from other countries. In general it brings more benefits but there are some disadvantages, which I am going to analyze in the following paragraphs using examples, relevant arguments and explanations.
I believe that opportunity to buy from different countries benefits positively in many cases because everyone would have equal variety of choices and options and there would be less envy among people and it’s good chance for countries to share their traditional and unique culture thus make perceptible profit for their economy. To explain this we can take an example one who wears unusual clothe which looks excellent which he bought from other are and another person wants that outfit he has all chances to buy it in the internet thus he would feel no jealous nor envy.
On the other hand there are some drawbacks such as losing individuality because a lot of people can afford many stuffs, losing value of products because of the inflation, waste of money because of envy and standardization which makes our world more boring but it’s not bad always because it can restore order in army, schools and such places.
In conclusion I guess it affects positively rather than negatively because of equality of chances and opportunity so it can decrease level of envy and jealous to each other then make our world more peacefull.

5.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the thesis statement.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and reiterate the thesis statement.

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, which could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to strengthen the argument and make the essay more engaging for the reader.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. However, these do not detract from the overall clarity of the writing. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds variety and interest to the writing. However, there are some grammatical errors and awkward constructions that can be distracting for the reader. Proofreading is recommended to correct these errors and improve the overall quality of the writing.

The essay addresses the task and provides a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the benefits and drawbacks of the increasing similarity in the world due to rising imports and exports. The writer takes a clear position, arguing that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks, and provides relevant examples to support their arguments. However, the essay could be improved by providing a more detailed analysis of the drawbacks and offering potential solutions to mitigate them.