The chart shows ways that schoolchildren get to school in three countries.
The bar graph makes a comparison of three different countries—Australia, the USA and the UK—in terms of which ways students preferred to come to school. (Measured in percentages)
Overall, the largest portion of students chose to travel by car in the UK and the USA, while the reverse was true for other options to get to school. It is also worth noting that school bus was dominant in Australia in the given year.
Looking more closely at the bar graph, the USA had by far the highest proportion of students who traveled to school by car, which stood at 40%. However, the portion of pupils who get to school by school bus and car in Australia and the USA, Australia accounted for 31% and 25%, whereas the USA was 37% and 40%, respectively.
Regarding other methods, its percentage of students using them was 6% in Australia, compared to 4% in both the USA and the UK. Turning to bicycles and walking were used the same with 5% in the USA by schoolchildren. Meanwhile, roughly 8% of students got to school by bicycle in Australia.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview. The information flows well with appropriate use of cohesive devices.
Suggestions
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all information in the paragraph is relevant to that topic.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are few grammatical errors. However, there are a few issues with article use and preposition choice.
The essay provides a clear overview of the information and presents key features and significant data points. The information is accurately and appropriately selected and well supported.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you fully address all parts of the task and that your writing is directly relevant to the task.