The table shows the proportions of pupils attending four different types of secondary schools between 2000 and 2005.
The graph illustrates in the level of attendance in four variety types of secondary schools from to 2009.
Overall, we can see from the table the figure for students in all types of secondary schools saw a decrease, with the exception of commmunity schools. At the beginning of the period voluntary-controlled schools represented the highest proportion of pupils, while specialist and community schools were smallest in percentages.
If we loot at the percentage of students in Voluntary controlled and community schools, at about 52 and 12 percents, respectively. But at the end of the piriod commelitaity the figure for pupils in community schools represented this highest proportion, at about 58%. In contrast, 20% of students were attended in Voluntary-controlled schools.
The chart compared that the level of attendance in specialist schools were the lowest in all periods, at 12, 11 and 10 percents. Btween 2000 and 2009 the figure went down by a half, 24%and 12% respectively.
The essay lacks clear organization and logical flow. There are abrupt transitions and some sentences are disconnected from the main ideas.
Suggestions
- Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph.
- Ensure logical progression of ideas.
- Use linking words to connect sentences and ideas.
The vocabulary is basic and repetitive, with several errors in word choice.
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors and lacks complex sentence structures.
The response addresses the task but lacks clarity and accuracy in data representation.
Suggestions
- Ensure accurate representation of data.
- Provide clear comparisons and summaries.
- Focus on all key features of the data.