Some people say that technologies such as mobile phones are disrupting social interaction. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
l say that,l disagree with ideas
Mobil phones and technologies damage for teenagers because they usually look a lot of screens.It is dangerous for all people in view of the fact that people are losing their eyesight and a large amount time .Particulary, people who work a lot with computers have many health problems then people always become agressive. what is more They have trouble concentrating and they do not respect anyone so no one likes to talk to them. In addition,They dependented to mobil phones because he does not focus on all people. They think that this life is only about this mobil phones.
In my opinion,We think that mobil phones only do bad things and we do not imagine that there are many good things. We can keep in contrast contact with our distant loved ones .Moreover,if you miss them ,you can talk to them by mobil phone. What is more You can learn a lot of online lessons and you may read abroad’s books,newspapers,animal’s news,population’s rise and about mountains,moors,waterfalls,hills.Nevertheles, You can play beneficial games ,read online books , talk to close friends and if there is no TV watch movie,serial.
I conclude that,there are good and awful sides to the phone but if you use the phone effectively,everything will change for the better
The essay is somewhat organized and the progression of ideas is evident, but there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is limited, affecting the overall coherence. Additionally, the connection between ideas in different paragraphs could be improved for better cohesion.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your ideas in each paragraph and connect them logically to ensure good overall cohesion.
The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary and there are some inaccuracies in word choice and spelling. The essay uses basic vocabulary, but there are some instances of awkward phrasing and spelling errors. More varied and precise vocabulary could be used to convey the ideas more effectively. Additionally, there are some spelling errors that need to be addressed.
The essay shows a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors and inaccuracies. The essay contains several grammatical errors that can hinder clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and preposition use. Proofreading is recommended to correct these errors. Additionally, more varied sentence structures could be used to demonstrate a higher level of grammatical proficiency.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay addresses the topic by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of mobile phone usage. However, the argument could be more fully developed, and the ideas could be more thoroughly explained and supported. The essay would benefit from more specific examples and a clearer thesis statement.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you fully develop your argument and support it with relevant examples.