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adhambek

These days, there is competition between increasing number of older people and young people for working the same job, this competing causes several problems , say, health and physical demands and skill gaps. The most effective way to address this is promote lifelong learning and encourage working with collaboration.
Increasing number of older individuals have health problems including heart or asthma and physical problems ,and therefore, their percentage of employee is decreasing. The most employers have been prefering young people who are physically strong, and more familiar with the latest technologies the reason why employers choose younger workers is that changing technologies ,and work conditions. Hence, more older or even knowledgeable individuals have to work at professions which they are not relevant. To illustrate, the company called “cola” dimiss their workers who are over 50 years old. Therefore, most companies might not choose older workers owing to lack of skill for new technologies and hard work in industries.
There are several solutions which can handle this problems ,say, attending accessible training and working with a team. If the older individuals have to work they will attend training which is provided by companies in spite of new technologies. Another solution may address this problem is that working combine experienced older workers and fresh perspectives of younger employees. Due to training and working with collaboration, industries may increase their productivity and their output respectively. Taken an example industries, like “sultan” have grew their export the reason why their increasing output provide numerous training, team work and friendly colleagues. In contrast working with a team and learning lifelong can offer more jobs for older as well as young individuals.
In conclusion,there are problems leading older people, like health or lack of skills causing lose or can not find a job, however attending training for update their knowledge and collaboration can handle this issues.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the progression of ideas a bit difficult to follow. Additionally, there are some issues with coherence, as the connection between ideas can be unclear. More explicit signposting language could help to make the relationships between ideas more clear, and improve the overall coherence of the essay.

Suggestions
  • Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
  • Make sure that the use of cohesive devices is consistent and appropriate.

The essay uses a variety of vocabulary, but there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrases. The essay demonstrates a good command of a range of vocabulary, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice, which can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the essay. Additionally, the use of more formal language could be more consistent.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and the majority of sentences are free of grammatical errors. However, there are some grammatical errors and awkward constructions that can hinder overall clarity. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, and the majority of sentences are free from grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence construction, which can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the essay. Additionally, the use of more complex grammatical structures could be more consistent.

The essay addresses the task effectively and provides a clear position throughout the response. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the issues arising from the competition between older and younger workers and suggesting solutions. The writer presents a clear position and supports it with relevant examples. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places, and the conclusion could be more comprehensive.

Suggestions
  • Ensure that the argument is fully developed and supported with relevant examples.
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