Advertisements are becoming more and more common in everyday life. Is this a positive or negative development?
It is true that, we are increasingly surrounded by advertising for companies which they want to sell us their products. Therefore, advertising is becoming more popular day by day in humans life. In my opinion, everyday life can be see as both pros and cons in this issue.
Advertisement can certainly attract individuals to buy products that they may not want purchuase them. For example, the mobile phone can be a good example. Every year, people can see more new model than the latest model. After that people want to buy them. It helps all of companies and businessmens which be going to sell the products with extra value to consumers. Advertisement due to developing economy of company and businesses. In addition, we might have a lot of informations about new made of product with adds help.
On the other hand, there is some disadvantage. Adds have galore advantages, however some people opposed it. There are few cause which for people say this. Firstly, some adds may be very boring for spectator. It takes a lot of time, especially for people with very little time, it is unnecessary. Secondly, sometimes people buy items that they donʼt need or that are of poor quality becouse of advertising. In doing so they waste money. Moreover, some advertisement have a high probability of influencing human psychology. They encourage people to take what they donʼt need and cause bad psychological effects.
In conclusion, the increasing presence of adds are positive or negative depends on how they are created and received. But it is up to people to keep it in balance.
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The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay is structured with an introduction, body paragraphs for each side of the argument, and a conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes awkward or incorrect, affecting the overall coherence. Additionally, the connection between some ideas within paragraphs could be made clearer.
Suggestions
- Try to use a variety of cohesive devices appropriately.
- Make sure that the use of cohesive devices does not affect the clarity of your writing.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as “attract,” “purchase,” “boring,” and “psychological effects.” However, there are instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, such as “purcahse them” (purchase), and “galore advantages” (galore is informal). Additionally, the use of synonyms could be improved to avoid repetition and enhance the lexical resource.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. The essay attempts to use a variety of sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors that affect the overall clarity and accuracy. These include issues with subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and preposition use. Punctuation errors, such as missing commas, also detract from the overall readability. Proofreading is recommended to correct these errors and improve the overall quality of the writing.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of the increasing presence of ads in our lives. However, the argument is not fully developed, and the essay could benefit from more specific examples and a deeper analysis of the implications of this trend. The conclusion is somewhat vague and could be more assertive in summarizing the key points discussed.
Suggestions
- Try to develop your arguments more fully and provide specific examples to support your points.
- Make sure that your conclusion fully summarizes the key points discussed in the essay.