Ahmet JIS

Some believe university students should study whatever they desire, while others advocate for them only studying subjects which will be beneficial in the future. I mostly agree on university students having the right to study anything they want and in the following paragraphs we will discuss why.
First, let’s understand the motive behind people arguing on university students studying subjects that are timeless. An obvious reason is that because of the development of artificial intelligence, most jobs which are successful nowadays, can be irrelevant in the time to come. Individuals who have dedicated their entire lives to a profession, are now being forced to change their occupations or adapt into a complete new working style. By looking at this reason, it is blatant that studying timeless subjects is better for reducing the chance of unemployment in the future. However, the biggest issue here is that, no one has the right to force anyone into doing a certain thing. Therefore, you cannot oblige a person into studying a subject whether it is beneficial or not. The student has the right to study whatever they like and pursue their own career. Now, my approach to this problem would be to inform the students about which subject would be relevant in the future, so that they could choose the one that will be a safe career option. This would give a broader understanding to students who have not decided to study which subject. If the student still wants to study other subjects, well, it is their choice and they will live beside that decision. Additionally, it is widely accepted that higher ranking universities foster more diversity in terms of faculties, disciplines and subjects.
In conclusion, the best alternative is to advise students on which subjects might be more relevant in the future, whilst also maintaining the freedom of choice.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. Clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and more explicit linking phrases would help guide the reader through the essay. Ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will also improve readability.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transitions between ideas.
Make sure that each paragraph has a clear central topic that is well supported by the rest of the paragraph.

The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a varied vocabulary, but there are instances of awkward or incorrect word choices. For example, “faculties, disciplines and subjects” should be “faculties, disciplines, and subjects,” and “oblige” should be “oblige.” Refining word choices and ensuring correct spelling and grammar usage will improve the overall clarity and professionalism of the essay. Additionally, using a wider variety of expressions and idioms will make the essay more engaging to read.

The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay contains a few grammatical errors that affect clarity and readability. For example, “an obvious reason is that because of the development” should be “an obvious reason is the development,” and “no one has the right to force anyone into doing a certain thing” should be “no one has the right to force anyone into doing a certain thing.” Correcting these errors and paying attention to grammatical accuracy will improve the overall quality of the essay. Additionally, varying sentence structures and using a wider range of grammatical constructions will make the essay more engaging to read.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic by discussing the debate over whether university students should be allowed to study whatever they want or only subjects that will be beneficial in the future. The writer takes a clear stance, advocating for the former, and provides reasons and examples to support their position. However, the essay could benefit from a more detailed exploration of the opposing viewpoint and a stronger introduction that clearly outlines the main arguments. Additionally, the conclusion could be more comprehensive, summarizing the main points discussed rather than introducing a new topic.