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All education and healthcare should by the government and free for everyone

There is a belief that government should fund all education and healthcare, thus make it costless for everyone in need. This essay completely agrees with this statement. In my experience I will prove how privately owned educational institutions are limiting potential discoveries and disabled people are in a great need of governmental financial support.
In my opinion, private education creates a gap between social classes and takes the opportunity of millions of people to acquire desirable knowledge. My story is a wonderful example of it. Couple years ago I was doing the research about ancient Egypt. While I was working on my paper, I stumbled across one book that could hypothetically prove the thesis I was aiming to. That was truly great luck to find it, however this book was in a collection of local privat university. I contacted them asking for an opportunity to use it for my research, but they refused to give me a chance. Their main arguments were that every single student of theirs was paying a huge amount of money to school funding purely for the access to resources and it would be against their policy to give any of their copies for free. I would be able to finish my study without a problem if government was paying the school to keep their archive accessible for everyone.
Unfortunately, education is not the only field that suffers due to lack of funds. Hospitality is also one of them. My grandmother became disabled three years ago after she had a stroke. It was not only an awful tragedy for our family, but therefore a huge financial burden. Many essential medical pressurises were only available in private clinics and if we include the consistency with which my grandmother needed them, the overall price for it was astonishingly high. My relatives were forced to work twice as hard as they used to just to cover a fraction of those bills. Nevertheless, we are privileged enough to be able to do it, but majority of people don’t have this luxury. There are a lot of individuals that barely can meet their own needs and I am not even talking about taking care of a disabled person. I believe the state should support their citizens in such hard life situations such as my grandmother’s.
To summarise everything said, schooling and medical assistance are fundamental human rights that should be available to everyone, regardless of their socioeconomic status. Limited access to either of them can result in a disruption in the society as well as decrease in overall well-being among the population. As a society, we should constantly take steps towards progress and improvement, and with making those important areas of welfare free I strongly believe that we are moving in the right direction.

7.0

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between ideas and paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.

Suggestions
  • Use a variety of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
  • Ensure that your examples directly support your arguments.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more formal language throughout the essay would enhance the overall quality.

The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and is generally free of grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward phrasing and incorrect verb forms that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more formal language and a more academic tone would enhance the overall quality of the essay.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by presenting a clear position and supporting it with relevant examples. The writer’s personal experience is used effectively to support the argument, and the conclusion provides a comprehensive summary of the main points. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples and evidence to support the arguments.

Suggestions
  • Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments.