All university students should do voluntary work in their own free time to help the local community. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

An abundance of Volunteering organizations are being created to help people in need. While I can agree with those who think students should be engaged in volunteering to enhance soft skills, I also believe that university students need to focus on their own lives.
Working in different environments, students might be able to acquire necessary social skills by doing various tasks. All the skills they learn will be relevant to their future, adding more experience (leadership, teamwork, and communicating) to their work record. It can be a beneficial way of showing their commitment and dedication to do simple tasks. Take job interviews and resume as examples as they are one of the main indicators to show what features applicants have acquired so far. Still, many youths need quality time to prioritize their private lives.
As their teenage years are coming to an end, many college students may encounter several obstacles. First of all, many youngsters tend to be independent after a certain age meaning that they need to provide for themselves financially resulting in an urgency to look for a part-time job while studying. Students, as a result, are likely to opt for securing a job in different places whether career-oriented or not, taking advantage of it both financially and professionally. Many US college students can clearly highlight this phenomenon as a majority of them are engaged in part-time jobs.
In conclusion, while exposure to volunteering activities can boost student’s soft skills, it also means that this engagement may leave little time to deal with their own lives.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.

Suggestions

Use more linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic.

The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a range of vocabulary, with appropriate use of academic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and precision. Additionally, the essay would benefit from a greater variety of sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect phrasing that could be revised for clarity and precision. Additionally, the essay would benefit from a more varied sentence structure to enhance readability and engagement.

The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the benefits and drawbacks of university students engaging in volunteer work. The writer presents a clear position and supports it with relevant examples. However, the argument could be more fully developed, and the essay would benefit from a more detailed exploration of the topic. Additionally, the conclusion could be more comprehensive.