An increasing number of people are changing careers during their working life. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development for society?

It has been noted that more and more people are changing their occupation while working for another one, this trend may be both positive and negative for communities ,
Dissatisfaction to their job is a relevant reason for negative aspects of it , while it can show society is not stagnating , individuals are trying to improve their career in a way they think is the best.
In a world full rapid changes, it is common to see that some people changing their occupation without hesitations. While working for an organization , emplooyes often unintentionally watch advertisement of other work places , which would later lead to questioning their own career. Some may find their job very complicated and time-consuming after witnessing only positive aspects of other jobs. Logistics, for instance , this job is incrasingly gaining attention for the past decade due to some facilities it offers such as being able to work remotely and not requiring any intense physical work. The tendency for this type of jobs is getting exceptionally popular among young generations,since they know how to use newly invented technologies. Furthermore they might only consider the positive sides of it,while neglecting the negative aspects, such of over-stress, tediousness and might contribute health negatively in many cases, since you predominantly spend your time in front of screen.
It also shows that citizens of a particular country trying to improve theit conditions ,without leaving any space for stagnation . The sense of determination and dedication is thriving them to become better, and “ effortless living“ ideology is inspiring people to change their career which would later lead to the increased unemployment rates in the country , since they keep trying to change their career to the ones they think is flawless. Individuals may end up with lack of appreciation for their work place, if they keep considering to change it.
In conclusion, i believe adanced advertisement is impacting people in a various ways such as reconsidering their career and showing ungratefulness to their job. This development can contribute partially for the society as the example above states.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the progression of ideas a bit difficult to follow. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and providing a clear final thought.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to fully develop your ideas in each paragraph.

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to convey the ideas more effectively.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. However, these errors do not generally impede communication. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and shows a good command of grammar and punctuation. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect phrasing that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to convey the ideas more effectively.

The essay addresses the task and provides a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic by discussing the reasons why people may change their careers and the potential effects of this trend on society. However, the argument could be more fully developed, and the essay could provide more specific examples to support the points made. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and providing a clear final thought.