An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause?
In recent years, most of experts in professions like doctors and teachers of undeveloped countries are choosing to work foreign countries that pay well for them. This alarm trend can be primarily attributed to salary of their and long hours of their work. However, there are certain measures that governments can take to address this problem.
On the one hand, there are several contributing factors that explain why experts in the fields leaving their country has become a significant problem. Firstly, one key reason for this problem is unsatisfaction from their salary. Their monthly income is the same daily wage of developed countries. Which means, they are able earn high amount of money in other country. Even some departments of foreign countries offer some benefits to the employees like a ticket to travel around the world once a year or more. Secondly, working more than hours in a day can be another major contributor to this issue. Starting their work at 9a.m this might last until 10p.m. for expel, in our country, there is unwritten law over the government organizations which means it is restricted to leave their workplace until their boss leave.
On the other hand, despite the gravity of the problem, there are several strategies that could effectly mitigate it. The first viable solution is to increase salaries. It might motivate them and give them a chance to stay in their own country. If their salary was enough, it would serve to boost economy of country while experts might be portion of this tendency. Moreover, decreasing work time could also be effectiove approach. Reduction in working hours is not only encouraging to retain talent in the country, but also it is a chance to work on personal growth. Fir instance, in Switzerland, doctor may choose their work hours that might work a day in a week and they are paid hourly for this. Out of work they have time to learn something like new language or it is an opportunity to develop their knowledge.
in conclusion, although developed countries are being chosen by experts to work instead of their own country, it can be managed through improving remuneration and shortening of working hours
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the proposed solutions.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and reiterate the proposed solutions.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. However, these errors do not generally impede communication. The essay uses a variety of complex and simple sentence structures, and the majority of sentences are grammatically correct. However, there are a few errors in grammar, punctuation, and spelling that can be distracting and may need to be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of third person plural (they) is incorrect in some instances where singular ‘expert’ is mentioned.
The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout the response. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons behind the migration of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, to developed countries and suggesting potential solutions. The writer presents a clear explanation of the factors contributing to this trend and proposes feasible solutions to address the issue. However, the essay could benefit from a more detailed exploration of additional contributing factors and alternative solutions.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you fully develop your ideas and provide sufficient support for your arguments.
- Consider discussing a wider range of contributing factors and potential solutions to provide a more comprehensive response to the prompt.