An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What effect does it have on the countries professionals are leaving?
The exchange of workforce is an increasing trend all over the world. Professional workers, including teachers and those in the medical field, aren’t allowed to leave their low-class countries to get work in one of the developed countries. I think that this can be attributed to a better lifestyle and getting a better work atmosphere, and it has mixed effects.
The causes of experts leaving their countries are linked to several backgrounds. One of them is the desire for a better life. Their hometown may not provide them with enough amount of money they deserve and want to get. Aiming at high salaries and better quality of life standards people are leaving to developed countries. There is a clear example, while workers or ordinary people who live in the countryside they will come to a developed city in their country to get a well-paid job. They leave their home because they also want something in high quality to live better. It is clearly linked to the professionals who move to another industrial country.
In addition to better lifestyle, leaving country may be because of getting experience in their work field. Some poorer countries can not provide some modern technologies to their workers. Professional workers want to work in a better workplace, where they can find anything to work in a fulfilled job with using all modern equipment. Also, in other developed countries workers can have more experience. Aiming at learning new things is a cause of leaving their hometown. For example, in my country economic field, as well as some type of medical field, it is not developed fully. A lot of university degree students prefer leaving the country to study and continue working in other countries. Doctors aim at better instruments for working. Transferring a wave of nurses and doctors to Germany was the proof of that.
That change has different impacts depending on the situation. Firstly, decreased numbers of workforces affect the lack of service. Local people will suffer from not being able to find proper master of some type of service. When doctors leave their job, local people will suffer from illnesses and can not treat them. Hospitals in villages have the same problem. Local people in there have to travel long kilometres to find a remedy. The effect can be bad for host country’s workers as well. Finding new sources of workforce, host company will load majority of the task on those who come from another country. It will affect the income of local workers and they will have to travel as well to find new job.
By contrast, there are good effects as well. The host country will find a new and reliable source workforce. By having new and experienced workers the country can develop its economic and quality of facilities. In South Korea, for example, a large number of workers whose jobs are in the building are not native Koreans, but the workers from Central Asia. The workers themselves will get what they really intended. They will gain new experience, get personal growth, better paid jobs, and the life they want.
To conclude, the causes why professionals leave their country can be better life and new experiences in their work field. Lack of workforce in the home country of a worker or neglecting other workers in host country are the effects. However, positive effects will be a new source of workforce for the host country and high quality of work place and life for people themselves.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay is well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The use of transition words and phrases helps to connect ideas and make the argument more coherent. However, there are some areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. For example, in the second body paragraph, the transition from discussing the desire for a better life to the desire for professional experience is a bit abrupt. More explicit signposting could help to make the connection between these ideas clearer.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to improve the flow of your ideas.
- Make sure that the connection between different ideas is clear and well-defined.
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary, with appropriate use of academic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. For example, in the first body paragraph, the phrase “the desire for a better life” is repeated several times. While this is not technically incorrect, it could be rephrased to avoid repetition. Additionally, the phrase “the wave of nurses and doctors to Germany was the proof of that” is awkward and could be rephrased for clarity.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures effectively, with a good mix of simple and complex sentences. The grammar and punctuation are generally well-controlled, with few errors. However, there are a few minor errors that could be corrected. For example, in the first body paragraph, the phrase “Their hometown may not provide them with enough amount of money they deserve and want to get” is awkward and could be rephrased for clarity. Additionally, the phrase “Doctors aim at better instruments for working” is awkward and could be rephrased for clarity.
The essay addresses the task effectively and provides a well-developed response to the prompt. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons why professionals leave their home countries and the effects of this on both the home and host countries. The argument is well-developed and supported by relevant examples. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments made. For example, in the second body paragraph, the statement “In South Korea, for example, a large number of workers whose jobs are in the building are not native Koreans, but the workers from Central Asia” could be made more specific by providing actual statistics or data.
Suggestions
- Try to provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Make sure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and that this idea is clearly linked to the thesis statement.