Around the world more and more people today are living in urban areas. Why is this? What problems does this cause?

Nowadays urbanization becomes a main trend, with an increasing number of people moving from countrysides to cities. That is due to a larger opportunities and career grow, that mostly could found in urban areas. However, it can result in harmful impacts, such as a pollution, deforestation, traffic and lack of green spaces, along with living areas.
It is true that all the first-need and entertainment facilities are often centralized in large cities, offering people a wide range of choices and convenient living conditions. The high employment opportunity level is also showing a perspectives and attracting communities. Therefore, people are moving from rural areas towards metropolises in search of better living standards and opportunities for personal and professional growth.
However, the increasing population often contributes to overcrowding, limiting availability of housing. This makes it difficult for low- and middle-income families to find appropriate residences, even forcing to live in the form of informal settlements. Moreover, a recent research conducted in Kazakhstan shows that citizens have 20% more health problems, compared to those who living in rural areas. This is due to significant amount of pollution and emissions are thrown into the atmosphere there. As a result, citizens forced to breath in harmful substances, which can lead to respiratory issues and other various diseases.
To conclude, although the pursuit of higher number of amenities found in urban neighborhoods simplifying life of residents, might attract rural communities, it also cause environmental degradation, health issues and housing shortages.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the overall argument.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to fully develop your ideas in each paragraph and provide a clear link back to the main topic.

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to strengthen the argument and make the essay more engaging.

The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are some grammatical errors and inaccuracies in the use of prepositions. The essay uses a variety of complex grammatical structures with a good level of accuracy. However, there are a few minor errors and some sentences could be more concise and clear. Additionally, the use of more varied sentence structures could help to demonstrate a higher level of grammatical control.

The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the task, providing a clear position and supporting it with relevant examples. The introduction and conclusion are well-developed and the body paragraphs are structured in a logical and coherent manner. However, the essay could be further improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments and by ensuring that all parts of the task are fully addressed.