As countries develop, more and more people buy and use their own cars. Do the advantages of this trend for individuals outweigh the disadvantages for the environment?
There is a growing trend that private car ownership is increasing due to the revolution of nations, contributing to superior time management it brings to human life. Despite these personal benefits, negative impacts—increased air pollution—can far outweigh its advantages.
One primary benefit of private car ownership to individuals is its capacity to achieve better time management. People, especially those with hectic schedules, can eliminate transport-related problems when they have their own vehicles, allowing them to be more punctual. For example, one of my friends who used to be late for important business meetings because of waiting for her bus has turned to being responsible with time after she bought a car. Thus, having private transport can seem to be beneficial to our professional settings, enabling us to gain better time management.
However, one concerning issue associated with increased car ownership is the potential to wreak havoc on the environment. A rise in car sales and usage contributes significantly to air quality, leading whole societies to live under polluted atmospheres. For example, according to the New York Times, in cities, private cars have been found to be responsible for the highest amount of pollution, next to manufacturing factories. Moreover, having a ripple effect, it can even cause the spread of infectious diseases, with serious implications for the lungs and a nerve system. Hence, the increased personal car ownership has greater disadvantages compared to its benefits.
In conclusion, while a growing sales and usage of personal cars can provide a unique benefit, such as an increase in time efficiency, its threat to the environment, particularly on air, can be more pronounced.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion are clearly structured. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
- Ensure that your examples are directly relevant to the point you are making.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. There are a few minor errors, but they do not impede communication.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the introduction could be more engaging and precise.
Suggestions
- Consider revising the introduction to more clearly and effectively introduce the topic and your position.
- Ensure that your position is clear throughout the essay and that you consistently address both sides of the argument.