As major cities around the world are growing, so are their problem. What are these problems for young people living in cities? What are possible solutions for these problem?
As major cities around the world continue to expand, they bring along an increasing number of challenges, particularly for young people living in urban areas.
Initially, it is important to consider some problems arising from this situation. First and foremost, the high cost of living is a controversial side of living in cities. The cost of housing, food, transportation, and education in major cities is significantly higher compared to smaller towns or rural areas. Young people often struggle to afford a comfortable lifestyle.To illustrate this, I would come up with the explanation that high tuition fees and the expense of living near universities often force students to take on part-time jobs, leading to stress and limited time for studies. Even this is not an ending and can be further backed. It can also appear Mental health challenges The fast-paced urban lifestyle can lead to stress, isolation, and mental health issues among young people. A good case in point for this is that exposure to noise, pollution, and overcrowded spaces in cities can negatively impact overall well-being. This situation is unacceptable due to these negative potential effects.
Nevertheless, there are some effective steps to remedy the problems mentioned above. The most immediate measurement should be that affordable housing initiatives Governments and private sectors can collaborate to provide affordable housing options for young people. This is because promoting the development of mixed-income neighborhoods ensures access to affordable housing near workplaces or educational institutions. I am afraid the only solution is not enough to completely resolve the issue, so I would also suggest that Accessible Mental Health Services cities should prioritize mental health support by making services more accessible and reducing health problems. To back up the second remedy, I would take an illustration that establishing free or low-cost counseling centers and mental health hotlines specifically targeting young people. These two ways can complement each other and are able to address the problem effectively, especially if they come together.
In conclusion, this situation in question is likely to result in some serious problems unless prevented by a set of effective countermeasures that have been suggested in this essay.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are some areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as “affordable housing,” “mixed-income neighborhoods,” and “mental health services.” However, there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing. For example, “The most immediate measurement should be that affordable housing initiatives” is a awkward phrasing and could be reworded for clarity.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds variety and interest to the writing. However, there are some grammatical errors that affect the overall clarity and coherence of the essay. For example, “The fast-paced urban lifestyle can lead to stress, isolation, and mental health issues among young people” is a well-structured sentence, but the use of “can” suggests a possibility rather than a general statement, which may not be the intended meaning.
The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout. However, the conclusion could be more comprehensive. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the challenges faced by young people in growing cities and suggesting potential solutions. The writer presents a clear explanation of the high cost of living and mental health issues as significant challenges and proposes specific solutions, such as affordable housing initiatives and mental health services. The argument is well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the essay could benefit from a more formal tone and style to better fit the academic context.
Suggestions
- Ensure that the conclusion summarizes all the key points made in the essay.