Asila JIS

Some people think that everyone should be granted admission to university study programs despite their level in academic ability. In the subsequent paragraphs the advantages and disadvantages will be addressed.
Let’s start by looking at the advantages, a major benefit is that the less fortunate people get an opportunity to pursue higher education. For instance, a person may not have the academic skills needed because their parents are financially constrained, which lead them unable to afford a good school. So going to a university that provide better education will help them.
Turning to the other side of the argument, one of the major limitations is that less academically prepared students might fail in their work, leading to increased drop outs and high student debts. An additional disadvantage is that if prestigious universities like Harvard accept students with less academic skills, it might lead to them not being as honourable as before. For example, if universities only accepted students which were super intelligent and advanced, they would have a high reputation. If a student studied in one of these universities, it would be easier to get a high-paying job.
Some people think that everybody disregarding their academic ability should be allowed admission to university study programs.
Furthermore, we have advantages such as help for the less fortunate people and disadvantages such as increased drop outs and decreased popularity. In my humble opinion, though I have only given one benefit, it outweighs the drawbacks due to the fact, that the less fortunate people are people too. So they deserve higher education.

5.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the writer’s stance.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and clearly state your position.

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are few grammatical errors. However, there are some errors in article and preposition usage. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and shows a good command of grammar and punctuation. However, there are a few minor errors that could be corrected for clarity and accuracy.

The essay addresses the task and provides a well-developed response with relevant, extended and supported ideas. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the prompt and provides a clear position on the issue. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay could also benefit from a more detailed exploration of the implications of the argument on various stakeholders.