At present, some countries have a large number of young adults compared to older people. This situation has both advantages and disadvantages; however, overall, the benefits seem to outweigh the drawbacks.

At present, some countries have a large number of young adults compared to older people. This situation has both advantages and disadvantages; however, overall, the benefits seem to outweigh the drawbacks.
One advantage is that young people are active and work hard. This allows them to contribute significantly to the economyin the work and paying taxes. As a result, this money can be invested in essential services such as education, healthcare, and infrastructure. Moreover, young adults want to generate new technologies and creative thinking. This can improve significant advancements in different spheres, such as science, medicine, and technology.
Another positive advantage is that a large number of young people can create a more energetic and creative society. Young adults often take part in activities such as sports, arts, and cultural events. Their energy can inspire others and create to a more smart society overall. Additionally, this creativity can improve the country’s reputation on the global stage, as countries with a young population are often seen as modern, and full of potential.
However, there are some disadvantages connected with a large population of young people. If the number of young adults is too high, there may not be enough jobs for everyone. This issue of opportunities can create social problems such as poverty, inequality, and even crimes.
Furthermore, the government may face significant challenges in building enough schools, hospitals and other essential places to the growing population.
In conclusion, there are some difficulties associated with a young population, the advantages of having more young people, such as economic growth, innovation can be greater. With good planning and strategic investments in education, job creation, and infrastructure, countries can create a better future. By improving the energy and creativity of young people, nations can create a more successful society for everyone.

7.5

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved.

The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that each discuss a single advantage or disadvantage, and a conclusion that restates the overall balance of advantages and disadvantages. You use transition words effectively to guide the reader through your argument (e.g., “One advantage,” “Another advantage,” “However,” “Furthermore”). To improve cohesion, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and that the ideas within paragraphs are logically ordered and connected to each other and to the main topic.

Suggestions

Try to use a wider range of linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
You demonstrate a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as “advantages,” “disadvantages,” “young adults,” “economy,” “creative thinking,” and “strategic investments.” Your use of language is clear and effective, with no significant issues. To further enhance your lexical resource, consider using more varied and precise vocabulary to express your ideas more vividly and accurately.

The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. There are a few minor errors, but they do not impede communication.
Your essay displays a good command of a range of grammatical structures, and the accuracy is generally high. Minor errors are present but do not significantly detract from the overall clarity or readability of your writing. To further improve, pay attention to subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Additionally, varying your sentence structures can make your writing more engaging and dynamic.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. You have addressed the task effectively by presenting a clear position that the benefits of the situation outweigh the drawbacks. Your arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. You also consider both sides of the issue, which shows a thoughtful approach to the topic. To enhance your response, you could consider providing more specific examples or data to support your points.