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BAR

The bar chart compares the percentages of participation in various sports in New Zealand.
Overall, it is clear that boys showed complete dominance in six out of nine types of sport, while girls were less active than their male counterparts in most categories. It is also notable that netball was highly favored among women, whereas in cricket, it is evident that men showed overwhelming participation
Turning to the details, only 1 % of women chose to play Cricket, while men’s participation proportion was ten times higher than that of women. A similar trend is apparent in martial arts where around 9 % of boys engaged in this pursuit, compared to a mere 3 % of girls. Additionally, the participation percentages in basketball and tennis were almost indistinguishable between genders. Soccer was the most preferred sport category for men, showing an impressive 25 % of them taking part.
With regards to female dominance, in 2002, netball was the standout choice for women with approximately 27 % of them opting for netball, making it the most prominent sport among females. Moreover, women’s participation in swimming was also a distinct pattern compared to men’s, with respective figures of 23% women to 13 % men. In athletics, women also showed more interest than men, however, the percentages were lower than 5 %.

7.5

The essay is generally well-organized with a clear overall progression. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother.

Suggestions
  • Use more varied linking words to connect ideas.
  • Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea.
  • Avoid abrupt shifts in focus.

The essay uses a range of vocabulary with some precision. There are occasional lapses in word choice.

The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures and accuracy, with minor errors.

The essay effectively addresses the task, providing a clear overview and specific details from the data.

Suggestions
  • Ensure all data points are accurately reflected and described.