bar chart
The bar chart compares 5 different kind of works in terms of numbers employed people in unspecified country in 2001 and 2008.
Overall, while the numbers of people working sales, computing and nursing saw a slight increase, the reverse was true for accounting and farming, moreover the best improvement was recorded in the figure of accounting but that for sales stood out with the highest numbers in both years.
Focusing on the increases first, starting at 150000 in 2001, the figure of sales increased slightly, reaching 160000 in 2008.that for computing started at just over 40000 in initial year and a figure then rose to under 80000 in final year. That for nursing was 40000 in former year , after which there was a minimum increase reaching 60000in latter year.
By the contrast. The numbers of people who works at accounting and farming experienced decreases. The figure of accounting was 60000 but this was followed by a gradual decline to about 55000. That for farming started at 20000 a figure then went down to 15000.
The essay has a basic structure but lacks clear paragraphing and logical progression. Some sentences are disjointed and transitions are weak.
Suggestions
- Use clear paragraphing to separate different points.
- Improve transitions between ideas.
- Ensure logical progression of ideas.
The vocabulary used is appropriate but limited. Some repetition and incorrect word forms are present.
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms and punctuation mistakes.
The essay addresses the task but lacks detailed explanations and some inaccuracies in data representation.
Suggestions
- Provide more detailed explanations of data.
- Ensure accuracy in data representation.