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Bar chart

The illustrated bar graph gives information about children’s regular activities as a portion of their bedtime schedule , including reading, cleaning teeth, having a bath, watching TV, and having a meal, highlighting three different age groups.
It is obvious at first glance that reading and brushing teeth are more obeyed than watching TV and eating. Additionally, the data makes it clear that 6-year-old children are less active in following the usual activities rather than younger ones, with the exception of cleaning their teeth.
Mentioning details, 4-5-year old children are dominant in the reading part, showing a rough 70 million. 1-3 years acquire the second place, consisting of 65 million approximately, while just below 60 million of 6-8 years are involved in this activity. Moving to brushing teeth, 6-8 years occupied the first place with 50 million, being ahead the 4-5 years by about 4 millions.
The bathing procedure indicates that 40 million of 1-3 years have a bath regularly, whereas the reBar st age groups include more than 30 million kids. Leisure activities like watching TV gain children in all age groups below 20, making it more active than eating, which involves mostly less than 10 million kids.

6.5

The essay presents a logical sequence of information but lacks clear linking words and cohesive devices.

Suggestions
  • Use more linking words to connect ideas.
  • Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea.
  • Improve the logical flow of information.

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, but some word choices are awkward.

The essay contains some grammatical errors and awkward sentence structures.

The essay addresses the task and describes the data accurately, but lacks depth in analysis.

Suggestions
  • Provide more detailed analysis of the trends.
  • Include comparisons across all activities.