bar chart

The bar chart compares different children age groups in terms of their daily activities as part of their bedtime routine in the US. Overall, it is clear that reading is the most popular activity in all age groups, while the percentage of children who eat as a part of their bedtime routine is lower.
Starting with the 4-5 years age group, 70% of children are busy with reading. The percentage of children who brush their teeth accounts for more than two-fifths as part of their bedtime routine. Having a bath is responsible for about 35%. The figures for watching TV and eating are 20% and 10%, respectively.
Regarding the 1-3 years, the percentage of children who read before sleeping in the USA is nearly twice as high as that of brushing teeth (30%). Having a bath makes up 40% of children’s routine. The figures for watching TV and eating, on the other hand, are much lower, at 15% and 20%, in order.
As for 6- to 8-year-old children, the percentage of children who brush their teeth as a part of their bedtime routine is 10% lower than that of children who prefer to read. 32% of children have a bath, while the figures for watching TV and eating are much lower in this age group, at 15% and 10%.

8.0

The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview of the data. The use of cohesive devices is effective, and there is a good balance of paragraphing.

Suggestions

Consider using a wider range of linking words or phrases to avoid repetition.

The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic usage. The vocabulary is generally used appropriately, with some opportunities for improvement in word choice.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are few grammatical errors. Those that do occur are minor and do not impede communication.

The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the main trends, differences or stages. The essay also provides relevant details and supports main points.