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This graph shows the kinds of activities done by old people in their spare time, covering a period from the 1980s to now in the United States. We can see that generally the activities listed have been increasing in popularity amongst the elderly, with hiking increasing steadily throughout the years, and watching TV being the most popular overall.
In the 1980s, nearly all activities were growing in popularity. The only activity which was becoming less popular over these years was going to the theatre. Going to the theatre declined steeply from 50% to 30%.
This changed in the 1990s, and going to the theatre became more popular, whereas reading saw a dramatic drop in popularity. The number of people doing all other activities increased.
This century, hiking, reading, going to the theatre and surfing the Internet have all been increasing in popularity. However, watching TV has been decreasing in popularity. Despite this, watching TV is still the second most popular activity nowadays amongst this group. Most elderly people are hiking nowadays in their spare time.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview of the trends in the data. The information is sequenced in a way that makes it easy to follow the discussion, and there is good use of cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs.
Suggestions
- The essay could be improved by providing more specific details and examples to support the general trends mentioned.
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and uses some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances where word choice could be improved for greater precision.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors in grammar and punctuation.
The essay provides a clear overview of the trends in the data and makes appropriate comparisons where necessary. The information is accurately and relevantly selected to support the task.
Suggestions
- The essay could be improved by providing more specific details and examples to support the general trends mentioned.