Becoming a well-known person, like a popular movie icon or a sports personnel, has benefits and drawbacks. Fame can bring enormous success to a person and can change one's life.
Being famous in any sphere has its advantages and disadvantages. I think these disadvantages are more than benefits. Famous people like actors, singers, or sportsmen face several benefits in their lives. First of all, famous people are rich; that means they have everything—world pleasures—from luxury houses and cars to the most expensive clothes. By Just wearing one brand’s clothes,or using one brand’s perfume they can advertise their goods and those things are totally free for them. For instance Jakhongir Foziljonov wears Vip-brand’s clothes free as just wearing them cause their fans imitate them.Secondly, Fame brings those people other’s respect and love. From this way they can find enjoyment where they go; for example, everybody recognises at a restaurant or theatre and serves them specially different from others. Famous personnel all the time find the best things. Thus they can achieve success.
Even though there are pros to being famous, we can see more cons. Famous icons don’t have privacy in their lives because they put new stories and pictures on their profiles about their lives day by day. Maybe they want to show off themselves with their rich life. In addition, good and bad gossip happens to them every day, affecting their souls harmfully because not only their fans but also enemies are interested in their lives. Thus, most famous people want to keep their life secret, but it seems impossible.
Fame appears to bring success and joy to one’s life with its benefits, but I think it gives more disadvantages-not having private life and gossip-to people.
The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected, but there are some issues with the flow of ideas and the use of cohesive devices.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transitions between ideas.
- Make sure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there are some sentences that are unclear or awkwardly phrased.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you fully develop your arguments and support them with specific examples.