Being a celebrity - such as famous film star or sports personality - brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

A celebrity works hard to get the attention of the public and once s/he becomes famous, s/he constantly tries to avoid the attention. Being a celebrity is certainly not a piece of cake. They get all the attention of the world at the price of personal space. It is a debatable topic whether being a famous personality is a blessing or a punishment.
Firstly, let us look at the negative side of being a celebrity. As the majority of the world follows the film starts or the sports persons, few of them are crazy about the celebrity. For instance, in the headlines of few newspapers, we keep reading about the fans who write a letter by their blood. I am certain that no one would like to receive such letters, constant annoying calls or being stalked by strangers. These all scary things come with the tag celebrity. Moreover being a celebrity is not an easy job. The film starts and sportsman has to continuously perform well otherwise same fans would harm them. For example, when the Indian cricket team did not perform well in one of the matches, their fans broke the cricketers’ houses.
There are always two sides of the coin. Everybody wants to be a special person. Many people dream to become a celebrity so I am confident that the celebrity status must be giving a lot of advantages. One of the biggest benefits is the money. Celebrities make a lot of money compared to other people. It is known that a supermodel earns more than a school teacher. Moreover, anyone can become a celebrity. For instance, no academic degree is required to become a film star or a sportsperson. Sometimes, the film stars get a chance to shoot in foreign countries or play in different locations. So it’s a great combination of holidays and work. The kind of glamour and publicity received by them is hard to imagine for a common man.
I believe that being the role model for someone is the biggest achievement of a human life and being a celebrity gives a chance to be one.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive. Clearer topic sentences and more explicit linking phrases would help guide the reader through the essay. Ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will also improve readability.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transitions between ideas.
Make sure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary, but there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. For example, “the film starts and sportsman has to continuously perform well” should be “the film stars and sportsmen have to continuously perform well.” Improving word choice and ensuring grammatical accuracy will enhance the overall clarity and effectiveness of the essay. Additionally, using a greater variety of sentence structures will help maintain the reader’s interest.

The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay contains a few grammatical errors that affect clarity and readability. For example, “The film starts and sportsman has to continuously perform well” should be “Film stars and sportsmen must continuously perform well.” Paying closer attention to grammatical accuracy, including subject-verb agreement and sentence structure, will improve the overall quality of the essay. Additionally, varying sentence structures and using a wider range of grammatical constructions will help maintain the reader’s interest.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of being a celebrity. However, the argument could be more fully developed, and the examples provided could be more specific and relevant. The essay would benefit from a more in-depth analysis of the topic and more specific examples to support the arguments made. Additionally, the conclusion could be more comprehensive and provide a more definitive answer to the question posed in the introduction.