Being a celebrity - such as famous film star or sports personality - brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
Being a famous people might seem really good, but actually it has more problems than benefits, starts with the pressure from folks ending with mental health struggle and loss privacy. Consequently in this essay i will provide some opinions on this topic.
Firstly, as i mentioned earlier celebrities lose their privacy, which could be terrifying and overwhelming. According this, it can impact on their own family relationships including loss privacy, sometimes loss of security and so on. Consequently it makes their live not enjoyable. For instance, some of celebrities can have a complaints about not being able to go out without their own security, and they always being judged or photographed.
Secondly, the mental health problem, these reasons are common among many celebrities. Hearinf a lot of complaints or bad things about their own life or family can be really significant pressure, it also can lead to anxiety and then to depression.
Finally, many celebrities have a lot of scandals with another stars or actors, this also can damage their status and reputation. Even a little mistakes can lead to a considerable trouble and consequences in their life. Moreover celebrities can not just escape from public judgements sp easly, and this can influence on their personal life amd career.
In conclusion, the disadvantages of being a celebrity, such as loss of privacy,security,mental health challenges, outweight the social and financial benefits. The price of fame is often costs really high for true happiness and peace.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the progression of ideas a bit difficult to follow. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your ideas in each paragraph.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to strengthen the argument.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. However, these errors do not generally impede communication. The essay uses a variety of complex and simple sentence structures and shows a good understanding of grammar and punctuation. However, there are a few minor errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more varied sentence structures could help to strengthen the argument.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both the benefits and drawbacks of being a celebrity. The writer presents a clear position that the disadvantages outweigh the benefits and provides relevant examples to support their arguments. However, the essay could be strengthened by providing more specific examples and evidence to support the arguments. Additionally, the conclusion could be more comprehensive in summarizing the main points and clearly restating the writer’s position.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments.
- Ensure that the conclusion is comprehensive in summarizing the main points and clearly restating your position.