Caring for children is probably the most important job in any society. Because of this, all mothers and fathers should be required to take a course that prepares them to be good parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
More children are becoming less responsible for their actions these days. Therefore, some people believe their parents should take training lessons for how to take care of their children’s actions which I also agree on this perspective for major reasons.
It is true that young people are experiencing unprecedented lifestyle in modern world due to shortage amount of time spent by their parents. Parents who have jobs and works often discuss less with their kids on a daily basis due to an overwhelming working hours they utilize in office to complete various tasks and projects on their own. This would make young member of family to feel insecure and depressed because of no parental assistance for their studies and other parts of live, leading young generation to have a sedentary and unproductive lifestyle. This may include activities like playing computer games in front of a screen for long hours which can result in gaining more weights and eye damage since they are not physically active, for example, engaging in some recreational activities and football matches could seem to be uninteresting and cannot be type of their business
More importantly, when parents are forced to get life-training lessons on how to manage their children’s upbringing, they mostly gain valuable skills like time-management, the maintenance between work and life. In this case, children are more likely to focus on their subject matters for self-improvement and take part in some fitness programs that can be beneficial for a cardiovascular health.
In my opinion, this statement is controversial though since there is no evidence yet to support the factor that it is useful or unworkable. We all know that parents have been responsible for the development of their kids without taking any parental-guidance courses for thousands years because it is already tradition that passes through generation to generation. Thus, this is indeed impractical and it can be observed that people who taught their children more in cultural ways might see their approach as an effective way in the long run.
In conclusion, while I respectfully agree that holding life lesson courses are important for parents in today’s academic landscape, however, the importance of cultural and traditional learning should not be neglected in certain case studies.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s position.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your ideas in each paragraph and connect them back to the main argument.
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there is a good range of structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions that can be distracting for the reader. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, and the majority of sentences are free of grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence construction that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the task, presenting a clear position and supporting it with relevant examples. However, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly restating the writer’s position.
Suggestions
- Ensure that the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and clearly restates your position.