Caring for children is probably the most important job in any society. Because of this, all mothers and fathers should be required to take a course that prepares them to be good parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

There is a view that looking after babies is becoming more and more common thing in any community, with some saying that parents should take part in courses which are related to parental education. However, I firmly believe participating in such kind of training classes may lead to improve parental skills and enhance child development.
Critics of attending in that types of classes think it cannot be affordable for everyone. Not every person may have the amount of money which are required for the payment. And in order to earn that quantity of money, they might start working and they may pay their attention to their work fully. Moreover, every person has different behavior which can be one of the main problems to adapt with different cultured people or teachers.
On the other hand, parents which attend on training courses can easily improve their parental skills as they will be tough by experienced teachers. By attending in classes parents can equip with essential knowledge and skills about child development, discipline strategies and health care of their children. Additionally, courses can teach parents how to stimulate their infant’s cognitive development through activities namely reading or going to gyms.
In conclusion, attending in courses would be beneficial for parents as it provides opportunities such as improving skills and educating their children correctly. In my opinion, the more parents attend in that kind of courses, the more children will become decorous.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reinforcing the writer’s stance.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to link all the ideas in a paragraph to the main point of the paragraph.

The essay uses a variety of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice, which can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, but there are some grammatical errors and punctuation issues that can affect the clarity and readability of the text. Proofreading is recommended to correct these errors and improve the overall quality of the writing.

The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position and supporting it with relevant examples. The writer’s opinion is clear throughout the essay, and the argument is well-developed and supported with relevant points. However, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reinforcing the writer’s stance.