Caring for children is probably the most important job in any society. Because of this, all mothers and fathers should be required to take a course that prepares them to be good parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
Because the development of children is the main aim of our society, some regard that mothers and fathers should take lessons to learn how to be perfect parents for them. Though, this can have its own disadvantages from the perspective of the parents. Although, I opine that these courses are an obligation for our society.
These days, because of the job schedules, external distractions, and in-family divisions, some parents may not spend enough time with their children, adjust and ratify their actions. Factors like these imply that there is a need for courses to teach some tips and make accurate directions for parents to become not only a good parent, but also teach the children to become an empowered and informed member of society. In addition, parents likely think that all the hinder to amplify the personal, intellectual and social growth of the child goes to the teachers. With support of these courses, parents can also understand that they carry the biggest amount of responsibility for the progression of their child.
In contrast, at the moment of engagement of these courses there can be difficulties and negative aspects from the point of view of the parents, because most of the adults work and they might not have enough time to dedicate to the lessons. Also parents can get overreliance from these lessons, for example, they can just apply what has been advised to them from the course, and may not teach the children their life experience, what must be done to stand on our own feet, hardships and cruel side of the world and people.
In conclusion, there can never exist a perfect way to grow a child without deleterious, harmful sides of the environment and community. However, to achieve a successful goal there should be taken steps, that being said, i strongly believe that these lessons are powerful steps that are going to drive our future
The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected, but there are some areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. Clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and more explicit linking phrases would help guide the reader through the essay. Ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will also improve readability.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
- Make sure that each paragraph has a clear main idea.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. For example, “deleterious, harmful sides of the environment and community” could be rephrased as “negatives and harms in the environment and community.” Improving the precision and appropriateness of vocabulary will enhance the clarity and professionalism of the essay. Additionally, ensuring correct spelling and grammar usage will improve overall readability.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence construction. For example, “though, this can have its own disadvantages from the perspective of the parents” should be rephrased for clarity. Paying closer attention to grammatical accuracy, including correct verb forms and preposition usage, will improve the overall quality of the essay.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. The essay addresses the topic by discussing the importance of parenting courses and the potential drawbacks of these courses from the perspective of parents. The writer presents a clear stance, arguing that these courses are necessary for parents to learn how to be good parents. The essay would benefit from more specific examples to illustrate the points made and strengthen the argument.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support your arguments.