Celebrities earn extremely more money than other professionals. Do you agree or disagree?
Some people believe that famous people make much more money in comparison with other specialists. In this essay, I will highlight the reasons why I agree with the given statement.
One of the main reasons is advertising big brand names. To clarify, big companies offer large sums for the promotion of their products and services by celebrities. Thanks to the development of the internet, advertisements are mostly shown on social media in the form of posts, reels or stories, each of which comes with its own price. Instagram can be a good case in point. The well-known such as athletes, singers or actors earn far more money by advertising than they do in their own sphere. For instance, Cristiano Ronaldo, a world renowned football player with more than 600 million followers on instagram, makes about $90 million annually which is five times higher than his yearly salary in football.
Another reason may be the enhancement of one’s own brand. In other words, having become a famous figure, people often try to promote their own personal brand. They may offer a variety of services or they may start producing a wide range of goods, whose sales are usually successful due to their owners’ popularity. The majority of celebrities take advantage of this, as a result, makes a fortune. Mr. Beast, the founder of the biggest YouTube channel, can serve as a great example. Last year, he started manufacturing chocolate with the brand name “Mr. Beast chocolates”, which turned out to be an instant success. Over one million bars of it was sold just in a month, which brought a huge financial benefit to Mr. Beast.
However, being a famous public figure does not necessarily mean that this person is rich. There are a few cases when people started their career with a great success, however, they lost all of their money and fame later in life. Ronaldinho, the world champion in 2005, was arrested due to avoiding paying taxes, after which he went through financial difficulties for the rest of his life.
In conclusion, fame usually brings wealth to people. Notwithstanding, there are some well-known people with no money.
The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. Clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and more explicit linking phrases would help guide the reader through the essay. Ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will also improve readability.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
- Make sure that your examples are directly relevant to the point you are making.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary, but there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. For example, “One of the main reasons is advertising big brand names” could be rephrased as “One of the main factors contributing to this disparity is the significant income generated by advertising major brand names.” Improving word choice and ensuring the correct use of idiomatic expressions will enhance the clarity and professionalism of the essay. Additionally, using a more formal tone throughout the essay will help maintain a consistent and appropriate level of formality.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay contains a few grammatical errors that affect clarity and readability. For example, “One of the main reasons is advertising big brand names” could be rephrased as “One of the main reasons for this disparity is the significant income generated by advertising major brand names.” Paying closer attention to grammatical accuracy, including correct verb forms and preposition usage, will improve the overall quality of the essay. Additionally, varying sentence structures and using a wider range of grammatical constructions will help demonstrate a higher level of grammatical control.
The essay addresses the task effectively and provides a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons why celebrities tend to earn more than other professionals. The writer provides clear explanations and relevant examples to support their points. However, the essay could benefit from a more formal tone and style. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive. Ensuring a consistent formal tone throughout the essay and providing a thorough discussion of both sides of the issue will help enhance its overall quality.
Suggestions
- Make sure to fully develop your arguments and support them with specific examples.
- Consider addressing potential counterarguments to strengthen your position.