Chechker

In contemporary society,cultural travel has become common.Some individuals contend that tripping has good effect for cultural diversity while others believe that books,movies or the Internet are the best way to learn about cultures.In this essay,I strongly believe first group of people and provide my opinion.
First and foremost,traveling has a lot of advantages for learn about cultures. It is clear that,manys visit for their cultures such as traditional meals or clothes and so on.In other words, many ancient countries such as Samarkand and Turkish, famous with their historical clothes, and so visitors want wear those clothes, and especially jewelry.For example my mother visited to Turkey for their red dresses and famous jewelry, and she was ate a Turkish famous baklava and other traditional foods. She believed that this travel was very impressive for learning cultures. Moreover, travelers can see famous people’s castles or houses in the cultural countries.
As well as many individuals want visit to museum and art in the cultural countries. Should they do not go to the countries, they will not feel another feelings and impressive memories. In addition, visitors can help for country industries, for example, they may purchase traditional clothes or meals and as a result this trade increase city industry. According to Registan, last year 20% of tourists visited to Samarkand and it obtained 33 million of profit from those travels. Otherwise, many foreign countries have rich history and various historical places. Books, movies, or the Internet, however, cannot give feeling for travels. Thus, more and more people prefer to travel for learning about foreign countries’ cultures.
To conclude, not only travel can to learning cultures like clothes or traditional meals, but also they able to see historical places and numerous view streets.

5.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the author’s stance.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and clearly state your position.

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic of cultural travel. However, there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, which could be improved for clarity and precision. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to strengthen the argument.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, but they do not impede communication. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds to the overall quality of the writing. However, there are some grammatical errors and inaccuracies in the use of verb tenses and prepositions, which can be distracting. Proofreading is recommended to correct these errors and improve the overall quality of the writing.

The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages of cultural travel and the limitations of other forms of cultural learning, such as books, movies, or the Internet. The writer presents a clear stance, supporting the idea that traveling is a more effective way to learn about cultures. However, the argument could be further developed with more specific examples and a deeper analysis of the counter-argument.