Check my IELTS task 2 according to IELTS writing marking criteria and evaluate it then show my mistakes then feedback. Some people think that current environmental issues are global problems and should therefore be dealt with by the government while others believe that these problems can only be tackled by individuals. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

While many individuals have an opinion that environmental issues can be coped with only by governments, others argue that these problems can be solved by all human beings. I support the latter argument.
To begin with, in today’s world a lot of people think that environmental problems are difficult to tackle because they are global problems and the only power that can deal with these problems is authorities of countries. Because governments can cope with these types of problems by using their authority and laws over citizens. So they can encourage people to follow rules that are beneficial for environment. Moreover, the government has the finance to fund eco-friendly programs. For these reasons the idea of governmental attitude may be the only hope for environmental issues is true. For example, according to statistics of USnews, Norway, Denmark and Switzerland are the most environmentally friendly countries because of their governmental programs.
On the other hand, many people believe that these problems can only be tackled by all individuals around the world. Because if people do not have right attitude to nature and they harm environment subconsciously despite of governmental activities, all attempts to make a good surrounding is worthless. So in order to live in a better environment all people should contribute to nature by doing environmentally-safe activities and not wasting resources. For instance, Japan has a good environment not because of its government but its citizens right attitude to the nature. I agree with this idea.
In conclusion, while governments have a great role in country’s safe environment with their power, all individuals are responsible for the nature and only they can deal with these issues.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the progression of ideas a bit difficult to follow. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and clearly state your opinion.

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the environment and government. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to strengthen the argument.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and shows a good understanding of grammar and punctuation. However, there are some errors that could be addressed to improve clarity. Additionally, the use of more complex grammatical structures could help to strengthen the argument.

The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic by discussing both the role of governments and individuals in addressing environmental issues. The writer presents a clear position, supporting the idea that individual actions are crucial in addition to government efforts. However, the argument could be more fully developed, and the essay would benefit from more specific examples to support its points.