Checker
In contemporary society,many parents have been putting pressure to children for achieve kid’s goals and bright future.In this essay,I explore negative and positive sides this trend.
To start with,this trend has a various benifits due to clear goals and struggle to future life.In other words,If child is fell of parent’s confidence and motivation ,they will make an effort to succeed and they read harder than others.As a result,they will achieve targets early and they will earn a big salary in the future. Moreover ,putting pressure to kids provide a spare time and they can learning a foreign languages instead of waste time and this situation can open a new door and opportunities in their career’s and education.
Nevertheless,it have a terrible effect to children like helathy or mental issues and less of interest to hobbies.It is clear that ,high pressure follow to read a long hours.As a consequence,it caused depression and stress.In addition,If child read 6 or 7 hours a day, we may see some helathy and mental problem to children’s brain and body.Otherwise, according to some experts think that pressure may be caused less of interest to hobbies and also lose of interest to learning and it may be cause their future education,career and also their future life.
To conclude, although putting pressure to children for succes impact to good way like achieve a targets and motivation for kids,it has a negative like helathy problem and disrupt yo hobbies.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay is structured with an introduction, two body paragraphs discussing the positive and negative effects of parental pressure, and a conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes awkward, affecting the overall coherence. Additionally, the use of linking words to connect ideas within and between sentences is sometimes repetitive or incorrect, which disrupts the flow of the essay. More varied and precise transitional phrases could be used to enhance the cohesion between and within paragraphs.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of cohesive devices to improve the flow of your writing.
- Make sure that the use of cohesive devices is consistent throughout the essay.
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical resource. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with appropriate use of academic language. However, there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and precision. Additionally, the use of synonyms could be increased to avoid repetition and enhance the lexical resource.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and a variety of grammatical structures. However, there are a few instances of incorrect or awkward grammar. The essay demonstrates an attempt to use a variety of sentence structures, but there are some grammatical errors that affect the overall clarity and accuracy. In particular, the use of articles and prepositions is sometimes incorrect, and there are some issues with subject-verb agreement. Proofreading is recommended to correct these errors and improve the overall grammatical accuracy of the essay.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative effects of parents putting pressure on their children to achieve goals. However, the argument could be more fully developed, with more specific examples and a clearer structure in the body paragraphs. Additionally, the conclusion could be more comprehensive, summarizing the main points discussed and providing a clear stance on the issue.
Suggestions
- Try to develop your argument more fully and support it with specific examples.
- Make sure that your conclusion fully summarizes the main points of your essay and provides a clear stance on the issue.