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Children at secondary school are often taken on visits to museums, zoos and concerts and sometimes even to other countries. What do you think the advantages and disadvantages of such visits are?

In a world where learning by seeing is becoming more and more the norm, secondary schools often resort to taking children onto educational trips. These trips to places like museums, zoos, live concert events or even cross-country excursions may, however, create different circumstances for children. Thus, this essay will focus on highlighting the pros and cons of such visits.
On one hand, there are several advantages of taking youngsters to educational trips. Primarily, children will be able to learn by experimenting, which enables them to put learned theory into practice. For example, if children are taken to public zoos, then they are more likely to understand the otherwise-ambiguous concepts of zoology. This is in addition to the increase in the level of excitement for natural subjects, including geography, biology and physics. For this reason, it is the for the betterment of children if schools organize such trips.
On the other hand, there can be found some drawbacks of school visits for children. The most significant one, in my opinion, is the potential loss of interest in real learning. To clarify, when students are taken on more exciting trips outside school lessons, which provide more adrenaline and dopamine, they may not be attracted to theoretical in-class lessons later on, giving rise to truancy. Additionally, these trips, particularly the ones to other countries, might be exorbitantly expensive for some families with poorer backgrounds. This, as a result, may lead to a sense of discrimination among such students.
In conclusion, although schools emphasize the importance of taking children on visits outside of classroom lessons, I believe that this scheme may prevent form traditional learning and certain families may not be able to afford such trips.

7.5

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved.

Suggestions
  • Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
  • Ensure that your arguments are developed fully in each paragraph.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.

The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. The essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments.

Suggestions
  • Try to provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
  • Ensure that you fully develop your arguments in each paragraph.