Children learn more from playing freely after school than doing more organised after school activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
These days it is considered that learning through free playing is more beneficial than participating in well-organized school activities.I agree with this opinion that children can get easily bored from fully busy tasks.Therefore, unstructured playtime can help young children indirectly to acquire knowledge.
First and foremost,It is a fact that although children can easily get information and remember, teaching them is challenging due to the not obeying rules which are formed to teach easily in the programmed education system.In addition,daily same routine,staying more in one place and only one person’s speech can be lost children’s interest.That is result,new education systems are been carrying out that teaching gradually fundamental knowledge through game and not putting marks to preschool children which is that showed remarkable results in Finland education system.
Secondly, in an organized teaching system, it has been learned theorical knowledge which is hard to get and understand to children moving from daycare to formal education. In order to avoid this,using different colours and shaped figures and going out to do practically is that learned in school activity classes. This method can be interesting and memorable to children simulatanously because of watching visualisation of the knowledge getting activity classes .This method is used in Japan where preschool children get knowledge using toys and something which is crafted by themselves or getting involved in agricultural activities to understand how it works and bond it with theoretical knowledge .
To conclude, teaching with games benefits more compared to attending organized ones.In this age,it is nearly impossible to seat one place for learning something,so learning a topic through playing games keeps children’s interest.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the author’s stance.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and reiterate your stance.
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical resource. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some attempts to use more complex language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and a variety of grammatical structures. However, there are several grammatical errors that hinder the overall clarity and readability of the essay. The essay attempts to use a variety of sentence structures and shows an understanding of complex grammar. However, there are several grammatical errors that could be addressed to improve the overall clarity and readability of the essay.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by presenting a clear position and supporting it with relevant examples. However, the argument could be more fully developed, and the essay could benefit from a more formal tone and style.
Suggestions
- Ensure that your argument is fully developed and supported with specific examples.
- Consider the tone and style of your essay. While it is important to be clear and concise, you should also aim for a more formal tone that is more suitable for an academic essay.