Children learn more from playing freely after school than doing more organised after school activities To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, some people think that children gain more experience playing freely after school while others have a point planned activities are beneficial for learning more. However, i believe that organized activities might have more benefits, like learn working collaboratively and time management
Increasing number of children spend their time freely after school may develop their independence and creativity. Free time allows children to explore their interests and experiment with new ideas without restricted rules or guidlines as well as finding solutions to issues which they faced during plays can inhance their independence. As the result they will find their future careers related to their interests and learn making good decision. Taken an example most Canada schools focus on free spending hours after school could help finding children’s future desire careers ,say, engineers or doctors. In contrast schools that focus on organised activities guide children without knowing their desire waste their time. Therefore, spending time freely after school might give opportunities like being independence and creative .
Scheduled activities after school focus on working as a group and help managing their time simultaneously. Structured activities teach children how to manage time effectively, balancing schoolworks , hobbies or leisure. Regarding to learn collaborating, organised activities engage in group projects or games , these help improving children’s communication skills. As the result these social skills aid their future careers or increasing the size of networking. Hence, working with groups or managing time effectively is gained by scheduled activities after school.
In conclusion children spend their time freely after school give more opportunity for learning other think that organized activities might have more while i believe planned activities is more beneficial for children to learn.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s position.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and clearly state your position.

The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical resource. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect phrasing that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, and the majority of sentences are free from errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect phrasing that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position and supporting it with relevant examples. However, the argument could be more fully developed, and the essay could provide more specific examples to support its points.