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Children learn more from playing freely after school than doing more organised after school activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

While it is true that children can learn easily by playing after-school activities freely, I firmly believe that it provides significant benefits, such as social skills and fostering creativity in ways which structured activities cannot replicate.
One major reason for this is developing creativity because kids can create their own scenarios and invent games on their own. For example, when children are engaged in role-playing games, they can think critically about their roles and how they need to act. Not only does it enhance creativity, but it also develops practical skills, such as teamwork and negotiation. In contrast to organized lessons, it is impossible to improve these skills as these activities follow particular guides and instructions.
Another undeniable factor is enhancing social skills and emotional well-being. It helps kids with their peers to interact in a natural and stress-free environment without teachers or supervisors. For instance, kids can learn how to solve conflicts and communicate effectively, which can also strengthen their interpersonal skills with different peers daily. Hardly had structured lessons improved these abilities, as pupils are guided and controlled by adults, making it unfeasible for them to navigate social situations on their own.
In conclusion, while I acknowledge the view played by the role of structured lessons are important in pupils’ learning process, I believe that addressing the engagement in activities after school can enhance social abilities and strengthen creativity which are definitely beneficial for youngsters to perform better and for their overall well-being.

7.0

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.

Suggestions
  • Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
  • Ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the points you have made in the essay.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.

The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. However, the introduction could be more effective in capturing the reader’s attention and clearly stating the position.

Suggestions
  • Consider using a more engaging hook in the introduction to capture the reader’s attention.
  • Clearly state the position in the introduction to ensure that the reader is aware of it from the start.