Children learn more from playing freely after school than doing more organised after school activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The ways of learning process play an important role in shaping child’s character, one of the most vulnerable lawyers in the community. Therefore, there is an ongoing debate about whether unstructured play is more beneficial than organized activities. While some individuals argue that well-structured programs provide essentials skills including disciplines, I agree with those who support the idea that children learn more from playing freely after school, as it enhances their creativity, social skills and emotional well-being.
One of the main primary benefits of free play is that it encourages creativity and problem-solving skills. When they participate in unstructured activities, ranging from imaginative role-playing to outdoor exploration, they have access to experiment, make mistakes and find a way to overcome obstacles on their own. This autonomy fosters critical thinking and adaptability, which are essential for their cognitive growth. In contrast, organized activities usually follow rigid guidance that it may limit a child’s ability to think out of the box.
Furthermore, unstructured activities allow children to develop essential social skills naturally. Interacting with their peers in unstructured activities help them to learn negotiation, conflict resolution and cooperation without interruptions, these experiences are crucial for building interpersonal relationship and emotional intelligence. Structured activities, on the hand, may restrict abilities for children to boost their confidence and shape in their personality, moreover, organized after-school programs, while beneficial in developing certain skills, can sometimes play additional pressure on children, leading to burnout and lack of inner drive.
In conclusion, personally, focus on unstructured activities could be more beneficial for young generation, making them easy to acquire essential skills including critical thinking and leadership abilities, than organized programs following rigid guidance.

7.0

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.

Suggestions

Use more linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more precise and varied vocabulary could enhance the essay.

The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, and the majority of sentences are free of grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward phrasing and incorrect verb forms that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more complex grammatical structures could enhance the essay.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the benefits of free play and organized activities and by presenting a clear position that free play is more beneficial. The argument is well-developed and supported with relevant points, but the essay could be enhanced by including more specific examples to illustrate the benefits of free play and the drawbacks of organized activities more effectively.