Children today find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention to while at school. Why is this the case? How can we solve this problem?

In the 21st century , the issue of having a lack of focus on lessons at school among children has been a growing concern in many parts of the world . While this matter can be largely attributed to smartphones and less interactive teachers, it is still possible to address this problematic situation if some reliable steps such as banning to use phones at school and accepting professionally communicative instructors are taken into action
There are two primary reasons why school children have no enough attention to lessons . One of which is that their gadgets , especially smartphones may distract to pay more attention to the class , not least because when some notifications or social media messages are received , pupils have a tendency what the message is about which interrupts their lessons . Another contributing factor is that some teachers are not enough professional to make pupils attract what they are teaching . This is mainly because if the young cannot find something interesting from the lesson . it seems boring to them and they are reluctant to learn it . Therefore , the problem has become quite common recent years because of the two main factors .
Despite this , we have still a chance to change this situation to a positive side by some implementations . Firstly , the usage of mobile phones should be prohibited for pupils by school authorities . It is because they have no alternative but to focus on the lessons unless they have mobile phones which they use to play vides games or keep in touch online with others . Furthermore , hiring highly motivate and interactive teachers into teaching can also play an important role in the process as teachers are those who can make pupils follow them as long as their lessons are taught appealingly . For example , it is said that there is no boring lesson in the class , but there is poor teacher . With these approaches , the issue may be improved significantly .
In conclusion , even though it has been common to see many children having difficulty concentrating on school lessons owing to more interaction with gadgets and no professional teachers in the class , we are able to tackle this case with the help of school responsible authorities respectively .

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the proposed solutions.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to fully develop your ideas in each paragraph.

The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical resource. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and precision. Additionally, the formality of the language is not always consistent, with some informal expressions that could be made more formal.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and a variety of grammatical structures. However, there are several grammatical errors and awkward constructions that can be distracting for the reader. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors that can hinder the reader’s understanding. These include errors in subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and preposition use. Additionally, the use of articles and plural forms is not always accurate. Revising the essay for these errors could improve its overall clarity and professionalism.

The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout the response. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons for children’s lack of focus in school and proposing solutions to the issue. The writer provides a clear explanation of the factors contributing to the problem, such as the distraction of gadgets and the lack of professionalism from teachers. The proposed solutions are practical and relevant, including banning the use of mobile phones in school and hiring more communicative teachers. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments and by offering a more detailed exploration of the proposed solutions.