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Considering a high income is the most critical factor when choosing a career. To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

It is thought that a high income plays a crucial role in choosing a career. While many argue that a well-paid job does not buy happiness and people may not be satisfied with their jobs even if they earn a lot of money, I believe that there are several benefits to choosing high-income jobs.
Critics of people can be happy when their well-paid jobs argue that people can still be happy even if their jobs are not well-paid to cite several benefits to support their stance. One benefit is that people can be satisfied with their work if they choose a career they wanted. This is because they may be good at the job they like, and it brings them happiness. Studies have shown that people have different strengths: some may good at teaching, building, or politics, while others may enjoy treating people and giving advice. Thus, people should choose a career they are good at, even if it is not well-paid.Furthermore, earning a lot of money does not guarantee happiness. In other words, many people select well-paid jobs that are demanding and time-consuming, which can take away time meant to be spent with family and friends. This can ultimately lead to disconnection from loved ones and even they may become workaholics.
However, I believe that well-paid jobs can be motivating and comfortable. When people work in jobs that provide them with a substantial income, they may try to be inspired to work harder and dedicate themselves to their work. This can increase their efficiency and maintain their motivation. Moreover, earning a high salary makes life more comfortable. For instance, people with high incomes can live in luxury because their earnings cover all their living and educational expenses, leading to a more satisfying life.
In conclusion, although some people prioritize job satisfaction and happiness over salary when choosing a career, I believe that well-paid jobs keep workers motivated and make life easier for many people.

7.0

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.

Suggestions
  • Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
  • Ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the points you have made in the essay.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.

The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places.

Suggestions
  • Ensure that you fully develop your arguments and provide sufficient support for your points.
  • Try to provide more specific examples to support your arguments.