Considering a high income is the most critical factor when choosing a career. To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
It is argued by many people that when choosing a career the key factor is a high income while some believe high salary is beneficial. I side with who consider job satisfaction is better.
On the one hand, a lot of people want to get high-paid jobs which can motivate them to work harder. In other words, well-paid careers may encourage workers to improve their skills to get promoted in their status and earn extra money. Moreover, people who decide to earn much money, they can make their life more comfortable. For example, individuals who select a job with high income can buy a house or car in a short period of time which can help them live in a better condition thanks to their wise choice. As a result, people who choose a career with a good amount salary can support their family or friends and stand for their own.
On the other hand, I do believe that most of people prefer any job satisfaction when it comes to choosing a job. To be precise, a majority of people think properly about job satisfaction than its salary if they want to work in this business for long time this trend makes people what they need before choosing a job. Therefore, people who choose a high-paid job can quit after a short time due to not feeling happiness about their work.
In conclusion, although there are lots of people who consider well-paid jobs are worthy I agree with those who think a job satisfaction which motivates one staff to do their best and work hard.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s position.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and clearly state your position.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds some variety and interest to the writing. However, there are some grammatical errors and inaccuracies in the use of articles and prepositions that can be distracting. Additionally, there are some errors in spelling and punctuation that can affect the overall clarity of the writing.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay could also benefit from a more formal tone and style.
Suggestions
- Ensure that your argument is fully developed and supported with specific examples.