Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. What do you think is this development good or bad?
Nowadays differences between cities is getting smaller since to individuals has been given opportunity acquiring items similar with everyone`s in whole world. Despite majority of people suggest that this will have positive consequences, I claim that it will definitely cause degradation of state economy, furthermore, appearing of conflicts among population could become more frequent because of this.
It argued that the sameness of purchases is negative influence to economic of country. First and foremost, if all humanity became identical to each other, development would totally stop due to needlessness of this as there will not be any examples for imitation, in another words, there will not be just any information for innovation, nobody will not carry out researches, consequently, time will pass, but development will stand still. Clearly evidence can be low level economic in Africa related to absence of diversity, because of this no one start improving situation as everyone emulate those they see.
Beside economical issue, there are also ordinary issues includes different levels of wealth or different mentality, after that, there will be large number of arguments between two segments of the population, prosperous and poor. Such disagreement will arise as a result of successful persons will insist about unfairness, they will ask question like: “Why we should be in the same level with people who try significantly less than we?” and they will be right, hierarchy must be in all time. There had been revolution in the past in the leadership of Lenin, he tried to take money from rich, and gave away it to poor, however, result was dramatic, poor people could not manage with this money and just lost all cash.
To conclude, be resembled to each other is not the improvement for countries, it is more deterioration because it decline economical degree of country and create a lot of misunderstanding among people.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the stance.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your ideas in each paragraph.
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical resource. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay uses a variety of vocabulary, but there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and precision. Additionally, the use of more formal language could be more consistent.
The essay demonstrates a good control of a wide range of grammatical structures. However, there are a few instances of incorrect or awkward grammar that could be revised for clarity and precision. Additionally, the use of more formal language could be more consistent.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the implications of the uniformity of purchases on a country’s economy and potential conflicts among its population. The writer presents a clear position and supports it with relevant examples. However, the argument could be further developed with more specific examples and a deeper analysis of the implications.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Develop your ideas more fully to provide a deeper analysis of the implications.