Crime is more prevalent in poor neighborhoods and low-income areas. Why is this the case? How can crime be reduced?
With the transformations of social norms and lifestyle, it has become more and more common to see an ever-increasing number of crimes in many parts of the world, particularly in poorer areas. While this phenomenon can be a result of high cost of life privileges and poor job opportunities, I firmly believe that it is the governments which should bear responsibilities to solve these problems by taking some actions, such as offering more jobs.
To start, there is a shift to commit more crimes for not only criminals but also ordinary people for various factors, one of which might be associated with constantly rising living costs. As it is common to see the tax rates and inflation alike rising day by day, the cost of living has risen dramatically, thereby causing people not to afford basic daily necessities these days. This, in turn, can be one of the reasons for people to do illegal activities.
Another one can be being unable to create good job chances. This is because when poorer countries cannot make economic links with richer nations, they may not provide their residents with better jobs, which result in not earning enough money to cover basic needs for people. Considering these issues, it is logical to see some people committing crimes.
However, this problem might be tackled when governments take some proper measures. Since poor job opportunities are one of the most notable factor lies in increasing crime rates in poverty stricken nations, creating better jobs is what governing bodies have to work on. This may not be done thoroughly, unless governments achieve success in making economic connections with rich countries. If they attract more investors to allocate money to improve those low-income states, unemployed people are likely to get a job.
In conclusion, I am once convinced that a rising cost of living as well as poor job prospects can be reasons that force people to do crimes, whereas creating link with high-income countries to offer better jobs might be one of the best ways to decrease crime rates.
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The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
- Use a wider range of linking words to connect ideas more effectively.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as “rising living costs,” “illegal activities,” and “better jobs.” However, there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to enhance the quality of the writing.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds variety and interest to the writing. However, there are some grammatical errors that need to be addressed, such as issues with subject-verb agreement and preposition use. Additionally, the use of more varied and complex sentence structures could help to enhance the quality of the writing.
The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons for the prevalence of crime in poorer areas and suggesting potential solutions. The writer presents a clear explanation of the factors contributing to this issue, such as the high cost of living and lack of job opportunities, and proposes practical solutions, such as creating more job opportunities. The argument is well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the essay could benefit from a more formal tone and style to better fit the task requirements.
Suggestions
- Ensure that the argument is fully developed and supported with relevant examples.