Cyberbullying has become a major concern in recent years. What problems does it create, and what measures can be taken to combat it?

Despite spending millions of dollars on security, governments, major companies and everyday people are still at a higher risk of cyberbullying than ever before. In my opinion, failure to address this issue potentially results in sensitive data breach and money loss; raising public awareness and more investment in cybersecurity seem to hold promises to alleviate cybercrimes.
TV reports and officials have reportedly been talking about cybercrimes happening throughout the world. The rise of the Internet has enabled online thefts to take place, equipping scammers with vast number of targets without seriously worrying about being caught. As a result, confidential data of governments, companies, as well as ordinary citizens are at constant risk. On an individual level, news reports about cases with breaking into people’s smartphones and gaining access to their debit card information have never been so prevalent. Or, banks, no matter the efforts to strengthen their security systems, have their money stolen occasionally by scammers sitting on the other side of the world hacking in.
Surely, there are ways to combat cyberthreats by taking two major steps. Firstly, running educational campaigns instructing the public about simple steps to avoid cyberbullying can be helpful. In my country, Uzbekistan, the incidents of debit card scams among people have greatly been reduced, and such warnings, I believe, should be attributed for this reduction for the most part. Since not everyone is a specialist in this field and therefore may not be aware of the common methods scammers use to trap people, educating the public makes them take the issue more seriously. On a bigger scale, if there still is insufficient funding for cybersecurity (not having specialists recruited or relying on obsolete security methods), governments and company owners should start investing more in this, realizing the costs of damage versus prevention. The use of innovative and cutting-edge technology not only guarantees less breach but reduces such incidents in the future.
In conclusion, cyberbullying is bound to exist and bring about money and data loss unless public is educated about simple yet practical steps they could take to avoid it. Realizing the scale, governments and companies would also benefit from investment in technology tailored to fight cybercrimes.

7.5

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved.

Flow and Organization: The essay is well-organized, with clear paragraphs dedicated to discussing the problems caused by cyberbulking and the solutions. However, the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs could be improved with more varied transition words and phrases.

Paragraph Structure: Each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, which is good for clarity. However, the introduction of each paragraph could be more engaging to capture the reader’s attention better.

Suggestions

Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.

The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. A variety of vocabulary is used, including terms specific to the topic (“cyberbullying,” “scammers,” “debit card scams”). However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.

Word Choice: Some phrases could be replaced with more precise terms to improve clarity and professionalism (e.g., “scammers” could be replaced with “fraudsters”).

Technical Language: The essay uses technical language appropriately but could benefit from more varied and precise terminology related to cybersecurity and digital privacy.

The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions.

Sentence Structure: While the essay uses a variety of sentence structures, some sentences are overly complex or awkwardly phrased, making them difficult to understand.
Grammar and Punctuation: There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that detract from the overall clarity and professionalism of the essay. Paying closer attention to these details can improve the overall quality of the writing.

The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout the response. The writer’s opinion is clearly stated and supported by relevant examples. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the problems caused by cyberbullying and proposing solutions to combat it. The writer provides a clear opinion and supports it with relevant examples and arguments. However, the essay could benefit from a more focused introduction and conclusion that clearly outline the main points being discussed.